Tiny Box of Feelings

I can't seem to shake the jittery feeling inside me. I can feel myself rock my heels on the floor nonstop. Been looking at the clock; every tick make my sweat drop Palmed my face with my cold hands, I sighed deeply, my saliva chocking me. Cold sweats, cold hands, cold back. These past few weeks happened so fast, I don't think I'm ready but who cares, right? I got to do it with no qualms. It's driving me crazy. I got to admit, there's too much in my plate. Too much. I'm scared. Im just taking my first steps. Why does everyone trying to throw me on the top of the case? I grew up with nothing much I grew up with no one around I grew up not dreaming much I grew up to always now my place around. I never dared to think big things. I dont dare to covet things nor a person. I never dared to be disastified. I don't dare to feel much. I'm just me, after all. And I'm deeply scared. Like back when I was a child. Alone in a rooftop under the moon. Waiting for the rain to even dare cry in my pain. Im waiting.. that young kid was waiting Like today, I'm waiting for the thunder to struck me.