time... or my heart?

there was a time where I let my emotions free now I freeze I bottle it up and pretend it's just half empty there was time where I screamed but my breath began to lose it's strength and that strength become anxiety there was a time where I was so overwhelmed that standing on the edge seemed like my last line of freedom a time where the amount of pills didn't matter a time where I felt so hurt that I took it on myself time after time destiny took away from my only way of freedom I gave up now I'm waiting for that one day where I will finally be free a bird soaring the clouds for now time has been rushing while it's stopped inside me like a ghost living inside a living shell all I feel is the deep pain and regret I wish I could feel happy again but you are not by my side I have you deep in my heart you my dear and your wish are the only reasons why I'm still trying