time

The week before he dies he crosses my mind something wants me to call so I do I call him and his voice makes me smile I can almost smell his cologne and I feel his arms pulling me in for a hug but the distance tears is apart and when I hear him cough I know in my heart that I will never get to feel his hugs again and that feeling tears me apart The day before he dies I think if him again I call and hear the phone ring and ring but he doesn't pick up I was told to call him tomorrow and he loves me a ton and I hang up and move on and I think about the family and how he is the biggest piece he makes me life when I cry and is there when I feel dumb but a his body failing says he needs to go hours before he dies my sister asks to call him I am occupied with my phone and say later I didn't know there wasn't a later the hour he died The words came out in a whisper "he passed" my heart stopped I didn't believe it for a bit my mind strayed my emotions lead the way a scream pierces the room and a sob escapes my throat I will never feel his words of encouragement or the warm suffocating hugs I just wish we had more time because it doesn't feel like enough