* those golden days *

Sometimes I hate myself, I can't deny, How did I never learn to show you why? It hurts each time I try to mend it, Searching for ways for these wounds to end. I feel so heavy, such a burden to you, Sometimes I think to calm, to withdraw, to undo, But what if peace is the end of it all, A step too far, where even hopes fall? You said you don’t want me to cause you pain, But these walls you build bring a different strain. I’m tired of trying, of holding on tight, Yet I push others away, thinking it's right. It’s foolish to make your mistake my own, Letting others hurt as I’ve grown alone. I try to stay calm, to rise, to be strong, But deep inside, I feel I don’t belong. You told me to let go, to find peace, it’s fine, But I can’t seem to do it, can’t cross that line. I don’t want to end it, leave you behind, But if you’ve decided, then please be kind. Don’t let me keep trying, don’t make me pretend, If it’s over, break it, let this all end. For I fear everything will fade away, And I’ll look back, longing for those golden days.