this not a perfect me

me realizing that I'm far from perfect...... I'm just a man that became less more attractive...... realizing that I bad mouth everything that don't goes my way or I feel like my emotions became an emotional distress in a situation that I'm living in mentally... but I feel like spiritually I'm drained from a frustration that's been locked up in my thoughts that's why physically I been feeling broken and loss!! I'm in the deeps,my heart beats for change and rightoues... but I'm telling you all!! this pain is nothing but my sins that I shortly reference to my mistakes it's no difference from those two I'm telling you. i promise you. I been through to many things I loss count! running away from my sins aka mistakes! putting myself into situations.why I didn't wait! I'm falling from a dinner plate! loss for words at the table with my family making fake faces like I'm happy but deep in my soul I know I'm fake ! I can't even keep it real anymore! then a higher voice in my mind said..WHAT!!!! WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE YOU,DO YOU KNOW YOU LIKE I KNOW YOU..YOU GREAT SMART HANDSOME THE MOST HONEST PERSON I KNOW.. DONT EVER MISTAKE YOURSELF WITH SOMEONE I DONT KNOW MY SON..YOU ARE PERFECT FOR ME. then I awake