This is a curse

I don't want to live this everyday I don't want to cry I don't want to shout because sadness is stuck inside and won't come out I don't want to feel empty everyday I don't want this tightness in my head and chest I don't want to get angry and sad I don't want to overthink I don't want to be anxious and depressed I don't want to repeat all this in circles everyday, I don't want to wake up I'm stuck and i am living in real hell I can't die and I can't live with peace my life- it feels like a curse.