things are different

its a weird feeling to come home to a house that doesn't feel like home anymore. its weird to sit somewhere that used to feel so familiar to it feeling like a strange place. I find it difficult to want to move on in life. I feel so strange sitting in this house knowing it's supposed to my home but then tell me why It feels as if im in a strangers. I find it hard to love again, after I gave someone my all n then some more. I know deep down that he was my other half, my missing piece and nothing will change that. I have moved on but why do I still crave him so badly. why do I always feel so empty when I'm not with him. I don't think I would be as lost if I had never met him. he made me question everything in life. even myself sometimes. I lost myself with him to become the person he wanted and I thought he needed. I broke myself to the point where I can't find my way back. it's like somebody else took over and my old self is gone. I remember very little from my childhood but when I do remember things it's almost like a 3rd person feeling. like maybe I really am that gone. my parents don't feel like my parents anymore and I don't seem like myself bc I don't know who that is anymore.