There was a boy

We start talking It's amazing. I'm having butterflies on the daily. We're asking questions you're getting know me. We tell each other how we feel talk about us, what to do I say I can't date not till I'm 16. We agree to be friends. We feel we want to date. I start to get insecure. I push him away. I'm getting closer to 16, but we're getting farther away. He starts liking my best friend. I act happy, try to set them up when I cry myself to sleep Thinking of how I'm unloved. I've been hurt so much. I've been taught to push away boys, that's what I do. I hate that I do it, but I can't stop it. I'm so concerned about how I look. I hate being judged. Now I think I'm over it, but I still flinch At his name. I wonder does he feel the same?