then what?

I dont think you understand how i feel about you most days you're taking a machete to my soul repeatedly but that doesn't matter to me? I see your hands covered in my blood but the moment your eyes meet mine it doesn't matter it doesn't matter because I love you I love you and its terrifying what if you're It? the end? how could my love story end so soon? and yes, its ending, ended, over you don't love me back, you can't have a love story without two people what if it'll always be you? what if I'm 20 and we don't talk anymore, but I spend my days waiting for you? what if I'm 25 but I still look for you in everyone? what if I'm 40 and seeing everyone, married, happy but I'm only thinking about you? what if I'm 55 knitting on my porch hoping you'll come find me what if I'm 70 and running out of time, wishing you were there with me? what if I'm 80 and on my death bed, alone, wanting your warmth? what if I'm 85 being put into the ground, going into the afterlife, but I choose to stay on earth to see how you're doing? then what?