The void

I always thought it's worse to hear the voices talking down on you. Those hurtful words felt like a hit to the guts. And as I lay there, I bowed down because of the pain. I could hear their laughter and their blurry faces. But as I was so used to the voices, they started to fade one day. Their silhouettes faded into the darkness and suddenly, I was alone. The peace in silence was refreshing. But staying locked away in a dark room, you start to go insane. I felt like I was searching for the door of a black box. And from the peaceful silence, it turned into madness and fear. I was so desperate to hear anything. To know that there was something to keep me on the ground, something to see and touch. Faces become blurry and I'm afraid that one day I cannot differentiate the face of my own mother. It's as if I have to sit back and watch how everything that I once knew faded. Faces blurry and no anchor to hold myself onto. As I'm asking myself what's left of me the answer remains the same as always. Silent.