The thing about depression

Thee thing about depression, You don't even remember the last time you were okay, no wait, You don't even know what okay is supposed to feel like anymore, This is your life, constant anxiety, being scared, What will happen next, whether good or bad, The shattering anxiety is still there. The thing about depression, You don't even know why you're sad, You're sad for no reason on most days, You don't remember any of the things, That made you so happy before, Even if you try, it's not the same. The thing about depression, You push everyone away, You are so scared of being misunderstood, That it's easier to push them out, Of your sad and miserable existence. The thing about depression, Is the constant lying it does to you, You get two weeks of happiness, Thinking it will last, but then, It hits you again, so hard, On a Thursday night, sad for no reason, Crying yourself to sleep. The thing about depression, Is when you finally think your are over it, Those two weeks of 'happiness' Where you motivate yourself so much, You think that you'll finally be happy, Self help books, motivating tiktoks, Tweets that you read and make you want to push, But then your two weeks are up and it comes back.