the so called "protectors"

this is for my mom and dad... I'm sorry I was a mistake I'm sorry you had me dad I know you didn't want me because you always left but you also always promised to come back and stay you never stayed mom said you were fighting demons but what were demons at my age I was three I didn't know what that was my demons were monsters under my bed but to me they stopped being monsters when I turned five because I saw the true colors of my family they were the true monsters the monsters that hurt me physically and mentally mom you were always in the hospital so I saved my family but I'll never take credit because I know you'll never believe me you never really cared about me either I was hit and kicked punched and threw but I was fine at least that's what I made it out to be I mean what's "fine" in this world it's hate and love but the world chooses it fir you and the world choose hate for me and I'll stick with the hate like the hate I have for all of you but I also love you dad I'm sorry for whatever I did but now I can't really say sorry because your dead since I was six so now it's 12:37 in the morning wishing to myself I could have said sorry for being such a bad daughter