the real me

The version u see of me isn't real. u see the happy and fine one. Until the lights are out and I'm all alone u wouldn't believe the real me in public I have a layer of makeup that covers my tear lines and I rub my eyes to make them red u can't tell I cried myself to sleep can u? u can't tell that I have voices in my head that power me to my lowest my mental health defines low. the standereds I'm at are no longer there I take care of my looks and others but in my brain my pride shushes me to open to anyone. I smile and laugh along knowing my smiles and giggles are to cover my sorrow The real me isn't what they like they loose me like I loose myself I loose them like I loose myself in my thoughts I shush the voices with music. The real me. a version u won't see