the only one who understands

i once knew the color of your eyes the way you looked at me when i thought you loved me i used to love the way you smelled while i buried my face into your chest on the rides home. i would often hear your voice in my head.. the tone of your voice when you felt disappointed in me, frequently. or the way you slurred your words while you laid your head in my lap on the ground of my backyard at 2am because i gave you peach flavored vodka in a water bottle and you had an unknown drinking problem that you later said i was the cause of. "why do you even like me?" ... "just leave me here, you don't have to stay with me." ... "why are you still out here with me?" oh, well because i loved you but i didn't say that yet. there was a lot of things i left unsaid and they will remain that way because you couldn't even believe me when i finally told you i was in love with you. you made me feel beautiful, painful things that i refuse to feel again. we were 2 hurricanes who are now destined to remain strangers for the rest of our lives even though you know me better than most, even after 6 years. but now i've forgotten the sound of your voice, the way you smell and the color of your eyes.. which makes it easier.