"the lil me I left behind" 3/3

I don't know.. I became the person I swore I would never be and learned the cruelties I once hated I grew tired of trying to be better of hoping for anyone to care I let you fall into emptiness because I believed I could survive it alone I am tired—tired of pretending, tired of wearing a mask over the hollow I carried. -Does your tiredness excuse betrayal? Does your regret mend what was torn apart? Was I nothing more than a shadow to pass the time? -No excuse can honor you. Only fear only weakness, only selfishness I cannot give you the protection I promised the warmth I swore you would never lose All I have is trembling remorse and the echo of the hands that should have held you -Then tell me If you remember all you swore if you see all you failed to keep why did you leave me alone? Why did you abandon me when I trusted you to guard me from everything? -I, i thought I was saving us I thought leaving was strength I thought numbness would protect me I thought you would understand in time But now I see I only broke you and I can’t undo the echo of my own hands letting go -Then tell me Why did you leave the little one you promised to keep? -Because I was too afraid to love myself and the world never taught me how