The first?

I was never the first. The first choice. The first love. The first one... The first no one. Why? Why was i never first? The first time i asked to be first i was selfish. It was never about me or my feelings. I was always calm so when i was mad i was funny. When i was sad i was funny. When i was happy i was funny.... I dont wanna be funny all the time. Sometimes i just want to be taken seriously. I am a maybe. I have always been a maybe. Maybe... Such a common word i hear thats said to me..... Why....? I cry and cry but nobody seems to care... Was it because all along i was just a simple dare? A dare to make you laugh. A dare to break my heart. Nobody cares now and nobody ever will. I will just stay alone and pray for a will. A will to do something. To care and love again. Because this time. I wont be just a dare...