The Dream, The Butterfly

The butterfly flutters in front of me it's wings are white and there's a heart cut in the middle of it Yet it's still flying I'm supposed to be mourning right now someone close to me is dead and I can't even remember who am I horrible? I try not to think about it I've had trouble concentrating recently I don't know what's going on one minute I'm at this house with my friends the next I'm riding my bike to God knows where I feel like everyone hates me. My boyfriend seems to like this other girl my friends look at me weird and whisper and my family walks on eggshells to talk to me am I the issue? God please don't let me be the issue I'm at this park with my friends falling behind and my mom somehow finds me, puts me and my bike in the car, and now we're driving she says she has a surprise for me please God let it be death I don't remember what happened next but I know I woke up scared and crying why couldn't I know who died? why couldn't I mourn in peace? why does everyone drift away? why did that butterfly have to be a moth?