The Dark Room

The one thing that makes me question everything in life am i good enough to be here on this so called planet or would everyone else be better off without me? The question remains as the heart hurts in so many ways which way is up which way is down? How do i pull myself out of all this pain? I put a mask on so no one sees it but when i am alone in this dark room it all comes flooding back i try and try but never seem to get things right. Tired of hurting the ones i love most. At the end of the day i stare into the dark room and wonder ir everyone is better off without me here. In little moments of this dark room i see a gleams of a light but then it fades away then everything becomes dark again. I been fighting this dark room for a very long time i will be glad when it finally goes away i am tired of feeling this way. I can take all the meds in the world and feel numb to everything around me but i am still stuck in this dark room. My light will come back one day and when it does i will be free again for the being i will miss my light that kept me sane for theses last couple of years i dont know where it has disappeared to but i want it back so badly i cant stand it and when it does come back i will hold on