The circle part 2

Then maybe things will be okay. But if I tell you no, I'm not ready for what you would say. You always said I'm afraid if something happens to you. You won't be able to say no. Well I promise you I could but when it comes to you I really have no clue on what to do. So here I am again with the flashbacks and panic attacks. I just want us to be perfect. But is all this work really worth it, when it seems one sided? What would it be like without you. Would I be happy. Or would I just feel crappy? Are you really trying your best? If that was the case I would be impressed. Why am I so depressed? What if I'm not ready to leave you even if that means all of this would come to an end. I guess I'm gonna have to pretend. Time to come out of the bathroom. When I came into the room all you could do was assume that we were gonna start where we left off. You told me to go down on you. I made an excuse but it wasn't good enough for you. You wanted me to go further and further. But as you got closer The tears start pouring. It's like you were ignoring me. So when you asked if this was okay I just nodded. I just laid there becoming a statue. I'm sick of being attached to you.