The cell

I am in a cell, A cell I entered by choice. Sometimes it feels like home; Most of the time, I suffer. I suffer not physically, But mentally, emotionally— Even spiritually. That may be an exaggeration, But still, I suffer. I entered this cell just a few months ago, Though now it feels like forever. I call the owner of the cell Kamama. Kamama is the reason I feel this way. I love her, And sometimes I even love my cell. At times, I feel on top of the world. I bury myself in her embrace, And it feels ecstatic. I quench my thirst in her pool. I hide from the sun beneath her shadow. On her ground, I feel seen. But then there are days When I feel rejected, Weak, Imprisoned. I often see myself As an obstacle— An obstacle to her growth. Now I wonder If I have become the owner of the cell. She is in it too, Though she does not know it. I think I am the owner now, The owner of the cell. She is in it too, Though she is not aware. I am using her.