the cage that suffocates me

I just need a little more pressure for you to unleash in me what I'm missing to do it. Keep treating me the same way. Keep making me feel worse just for the sake of living, even if I do nothing, at least I can resist. You make me feel useless like this. You make me hate myself. I've spent my entire life hating myself because of you. How am I supposed to love the one who has caused me the most harm in my entire life? Since I was little, I've thought about taking action, ending my life to achieve freedom. Freedom from you. You've become my cage. I feel trapped, disoriented, unwilling, torn apart. Nothing in my life makes sense. I've sought thousands of alternatives to stop treating myself badly every time I see you. I've reached the end of my doubt: either I let you end my life, or I confront you and make you end it.