the Ballad of Larry mcgoop

Larry McGoop was a man quite absurd, He once tried to moonwalk on buttered-up curd. He wore his pajamas to job interviews, And accidentally superglued ducks to his shoes. He lived in a lighthouse that wasn't near sea, He called it “The Palace of Broccoli Tea.” He built a jacuzzi of lukewarm gazpacho, And trained his pet hamster to dance the bachata. One day he declared, “I shall fly like a kite!” So he taped forty pigeons onto his back—tight. With peanut butter wings and a salad for fuel, He soared for ten feet… then fell in a pool. “I'm inventing a soup made from pants and cologne! With a dash of confusion and old traffic cone!” He served it to judges at the state county fair— They fainted. His prize? A stern public glare. He dated a mime, but she ghosted him twice, So he married a pineapple. (It was quite nice.) They honeymooned inside a giant croissant, And took awkward selfies with a moose named “Yvonne.” Larry grew tired, said, “I need a new thrill,” So he wrestled a goat on a big treadmill. The goat won, of course so he ate him with force