the avoidable ending

I perceive how I'm putting an end to my rest, how I'm ending my peace of mind. Always by my own will. I don't do it consciously, but if I stop to think about it, I know I bring it on myself. I am the main cause of my discomfort. I constantly seek the end of my happiness, setting guidelines and limiting moments. I end up locking myself in a ball of sadness that takes up more and more space. It encompasses so much that it exhausts me more and more. It pursues me, I don't escape. It traps me, I don't resist. In fact, I offer myself to it. I let it consume me, destroy me.