That winding bark

Friends what does that word mean people to make you laugh people to make you forget about life people who make you forget your past I have all that But why do I feel a black hole I'm a switch when I'm with them I don't control the flick I become someone funny, someone I barely recognize In their absence I become familiar Like as if woken from a blurry dream Sometimes I want to crawl into the cracks of my soul and hide For only I know what truly lies Who would dare behold what's inside The blinding light , it's non existent Engulfing darkness still persistent I am a wasteland I need to survive I die at every try to gain skills to be alive Oh I lied, alive I meant survive That's all I do, in and out till the sun comes out , a channel on repeat you already know the scene It's obscene , like clockwork The pendulum go back and forth.