that feeling

how do I explain this feeling it's loneliness when you are surrounded by a crowd it's sadness when you are laughing it's the smile that you give saying "oh I'm doing great, life couldn't get any better" I don't have word for it but it makes me stay in bed when I want to go out it makes me delete the massage when I'm asking for help it's the feeling when I want to scream but nothing comes out and you wish someone would notice but even your pet fish is ignorant to how you are feeling.