that feeling

that feeling when you can't open up and blood pours out the cut the cut of shame and grief because noone knows what's underneath that feeling when you cant breathe anymore shut out the world and close the door the only door to my heart before it all falls apart that feeling when my world is crashing down and something removes my crown my crown that makes me strong but it was never ment for me all along that feeling when you dont know what to say so you start pushing people away but you know that's not the way but you dont know how else to pay the price for the game you play that feeling when you want to hide and the last bit of happiness inside you died but you dont know how or why but its tearing you apart from the inside that feeling when birthdays dont feel special anymore instead I feel knife piercing through my core nothing I can do but cry knowing the pain I carry is mine they feeling when you heart is shattered and my mind is broken and battered but I cant talk about it even if it tears me up but by bit that feeling when you want the world to stop spinning because bad thoughts keep lingering those thoughts of killing me will never let me live in harmony