That cloth

I have a cloth I don't wear it I throw it on to feel something something good about myself to stay in a world that doesn't want me I'm done pretending that it didn't affect me I can't look at it I can't see it I'm gone I'm not me anymore I give what I can't have I take and take from myself I deprive myself of the joy others have I cut and cut I'm not longer clean I relapse and lapse and deceive I purge and purge to feel thin to feel something anything just something let me feel like tumi once more