teenage angst i'm crashing out

Lose my soul For where i'm from We only need our eyes to see Our mouths for fun, but not where they truly need to run. I walk alone a dreary path, In a street made with bodies i hope would last, Their minds are rotten and out of touch, Filled with vile things for we are such. And i said, Could i be good? Could i be kind? I want to believe, and not be blind --- so notes here are i found out my street's a horror site, half my family's mentally ill, took a gap year because my mom isn't going to work + my dad got into an accident and crushed his foot. And the government's corrupt, there's nowhere to go to for actual help that's accessible, and i've pushed all my 'friends' away because they're draining. i feel like the wrong person for it, but i do have lots of good reasons why i'm choosing silence. I just wish i didn't. I mean i've always chose silence all my life, but i do morally good things? to the best of my extent, but i still feel like an asshole for some reason just because of my silence that stems from childhood. Bunch of trauma and stuff and adults being forceful, then teachers alwaus telling you to be quiet. yea And not one good aspect of my life 🫩 so yeah there's not really escaping being edgy