tears of untold past

been many days, nights, ups, down. can't stop thinking what could have been should have been. now almost 2 decades I've finally opened up to 2 individuals (shall remain name less). I was so terrified when I seen the first message, I didn't know what to do. sat staring at my phone while I had some coffee. so when I messaged I had all guards up and they crumbled instantly. within 3 days and much thinking I need to tell my story. and not hide anymore. and for the past I cannot change. there is future hopefully to come in years. when the biggest part of the store came out. regret guilt and all emotions came to mind and always all and said felt relief. but so much more to work on. if possible. can't change the past of stuff did, said. and for that regret is built. pain was severe. walls put up. in 3 days realizing it's not about the past heart ache, it is about who u have and cherish that with u forever don't hide behind a past of untold tears.