supressed tears

A mostly supressed emotion That sometimes comes with no reason Where is the feeling That im currently needing When leaving friends behind But where are the tears i cant find ? This is the moment i need you The time i actually want to see you I feel the pain in my chest But I cant seem to find the rest Why cant u just cry Why am I not able to even try Did I really supress it too much Is this lifes lecturing punch But it wasnt like I didnt want to Its just i wasnt aloud to i couldnt show that I was weak It was the least thing i had to be But I guess this is the curse i got from it I guess I wont be going to feel it ...again, but why is it like im begging im not understanding