Suicide

I think its no mystery that I want to die If anything, everyone that knows me also knows I want to fly To jump and be one with the birds in the sky Have the peace that can only be provided by heavenly light Yet, I still ask myself why I haven't done it yet Why am I so scared of the only thing that can bring me happiness? The rational part of my brain says its cause i don't know what comes after death But my soul aches to take its last breath Knowing I can't take any more of this torment That even hell would make death worth every cent And even then, I'm still here, still surviving Though it feels more like dying So in the end, what's the difference between me dying slowly or quickly? If in the end, my soul will beg for death nicely