suicidal thoughts pt. 2

nobody knows or understands me They think I have it all good...look harder and you will really see I love you, Mom, and I'm really trying to find a way But the only way you can help me is to continue to pray There were times you never listened to what I had to say That's part of the reason I am who I am today But I'm on the right track; I'm determined to find my way All because you said you loved me and it will be okay I used to live each day with no hopes for tomorrow Walking with my head down filled with shame and sorrow There were times where I felt I was on the world's hit list So depressed my face looking like death ready to slit my wrists As a man I feel for myself I have to provide It's enough pressure for a man to commit suicide As I engraved death in my arm I started to bleed Even though God is all I want and all that I need Stress is building up in my heart and mind Wondering when my time is up and if I'm ready to die I put the gun to my head and closed my eyes I said Lord, take me now, I'm ready to die As I pulled the trigger no bullet came out Then I thought to myself aren't I supposed to be dead now I opened my eyes and saw the light A voice said I love you with all my might