Struggling

it's been a while since I wrote on this app. my life has been crap having Divorced parents isn't fun shit I have 2 sets of them My Stepdad is the pain in my soul but yet he's a damn know it all the age I am, he tells me I have a voice but the second I use it I'm drowning from his voice, it's not my damn choice and how I am, I shut down and let him win and I'm tired of it Im hurting and reverting social anxiety is spiking back up depression is well it's already here and I really don't know who to go to you see I'm the oldest out of 2 it's me and my little brother and yes we have the same father and mother.. he's the youngest though leaves me stranded alone.. I hate not knowing who to go to because most of my family is down in the dumps..not to bad but bad enough I can't see them anymore Lord just drown me in a shore.. I'm not grown I know that of course but I shouldn't have to cry myself to sleep as my main course I have faith and hope itll be ok, I just hope the month I'm staying with my mom will sway and quickly go away...thank you for listening to my long rambles I pray everyone is ok!