Storm of Misery

If I actually act like what I'm feeling it's miserable so I am happy I put bunny faces all over my socials I couldn't sleep so I kept running every morning with all the energy I have because I'm depressed I want to move on I want to force the healing because I'm scared, what if- if the Strom stays long enough, for me to lose myself again, will I ever be able to find my lost self and - it all appears like, I'm doing well, I'm happy, I'm loving myself, I'm taking care of my body and health because it's the worst when people around me look at me with pity so I keep on appearing like - not me, just not pitiful, that actually makes me less miserable.