Still, I carry you

I know that loving you now is a doorway lined with broken glass— that every step toward you cuts deeper than the choice to walk away. I know missing you like this is a human thing, a heart thing, a thing I wish I could unlearn. Because I still remember everything— the first message that lit up my screen, the first picture that made me pause, the first voice message, soft and unguarded, and the first phone call where your angelic voice felt close enough to touch. Your beautiful brown eyes still glow in the rooms I no longer enter. Your name still moves through me like a quiet song I pretend I’ve forgotten but never really have. And no matter what I tell myself, no matter how far I press on, deep down— in the place where truth hides when it hurts too much to speak— I know I once wanted to marry you, and a part of me still does.