Stare at the dark.

I lie in my bed, but I can't sleep. I stare the blankets over my head. I have afraid of dark. I wanna cry, but i can't. I trytrytrytrytrytrytrytry and i fail. I remember of the clothes in the floor. I have to clean my room. I promise that i will clean. But I never do. I move my body in agony all night. I have to wake up. My bedsheets swallow me. I wanna cry, now I can, but i have to go. I get up. My mom looks happy. I got mad with myself, why I always get mad? I eat. I don't wanna eat, i don't like eating. I go to school. I dint wanna speak. I wish I was mute. I wish I was invisivle. I feel dirty, i wanna go home. I go back home. I spend my afternoon drowning in my bedsheets. My mom say i thibk too much. I agree. I wanna make this stop. I stare the dark in my room. I know if i hurt myself, the things would be turn off for a while. But i can't do this. I try to sleep. I can't.