spoons

It took all I had to rise today. To face the world head on. To drive my car, put on my smile, Knowing that you're gone. I teach them maths, I clean their wounds, I help their friendships heal. Hear their stories, praise their wins, I try so hard to feel. I'm exhausted from my long, hard day, Though I made it good for you. You deserve it, you fragile little munchkins I hope you never feel this too. Smiles and waves, I say goodbye Knowing I'll see you again. I never got to hear it from her, That's it. There was no end. Commuter traffic, time to think, I sing along to our songs. Pondering mistakes I've made, How you've helped me right my wrongs. Park on my driveway, deep breath in So many jobs to do. Monotonous, meaningless tasks Numbing my thoughts of you. Unwind, relax for a minute or two The sadness consumes within. It's so much, I need to sleep To quiet the screaming din. Frazzled brain, ringing ears, My head screams and howls out for you. Internal chaos, outside silence, My mask. It isn't true. It's bedtime now, my spoons are gone, I couldn't give a fork. Thoughts that if a knife stabbed me, I'd pop the champagne cork. My sleep is shit, no REM, It leaves me fatigued and sore. Alarms s