sorry.

i'm sorry i'm not good enough i'm sorry i'm a burden i'm sorry i stress you out i'm sorry i make you cry i'm sorry i make you doubt you say i don't do all of these and that i'm good enough but i stare at you in confusion like you're high off a smoke puff. you say i'm fine and i'm not a bad friend but i feel sick to my stomach like my brain's gone dead all reason's out the window and i end up hating myself with distaste and venom on my tongue where truly did myself go? the self who was young who was free i can't remember that me it surely can't be i wasn't that happy, surely but now i never fall asleep but wake up early. the footsteps on the floor provoke me my anxiety withdraws all sense it hurts to feel trapped in my own home but a home isn't like this it's not a dollhouse made of foam so as i talk to you it seems like you're sick of me and as i go trying to leave you be you say i'm not annoying but my thoughts are too far gone and my feelings show no self-affection i'm too far gone.