sorrowful gaze

how can I sleep knowing I hurt you? how do I close my eyes to never have to open them again as far as I can know? It hurts to you but it's hurting me more I regret all of it, my tears more than the words to be known I'm sorry for no forgiveness I'm sorry to nothing but sorrowful gaze I'm breathing to this flesh and blood but I think I died just now when I spell what I shouldn't have, especially to you with whom I desired to live with alone