sometimes I hate being myself.

sometimes I hate being an insomiac. Yes I'm a night owl. it sounds cool but it is truly not. I want to be tomorrow. I stare at my ceiling drowning in my feelings. my thoughts keep me afloat. I don't really want to be tomorrow. I don't really want to do anything. I am really just terrified for tomorrow. But they won't define me. I put music on. I can't hear my thoughts. I am deaf. I am blind. and paralyzed in this in between. Oh who to call? oh that's right Im utterly alone. I hate my presence. its suffocating. I am killing myself. I take off my headphones and put the music on to resonate for 15 minutes in the night sky. I fall asleep.