somedays.

I have moments where I am the happiest ever and I have moments where my thoughts are louder than what's around me and I get lost in them. I have days where I wake up with energy, excited to start my day and then I have days where everything irritates me, where I just lie in bed and just stare into my white textured ceiling. On those days I don't talk to anybody, I distance myself from every living soul that surrounds me. "Leave me alone" I say, but truly it's "stay, I need company" I distance myself but truly I need company, I need someone's warm presence. It's rare when I have good days, the days where I smile and giggle all day but when they do happen it's peaceful, my mind becomes at peace. I can breathe. On the days where everything's dim, i lie in bed. Eyes all puffy from all the tears I've cried the night before, hair all messy from griping it, dry mascara streaks running down my cheeks. On days like those I chose not to get up from bed and look in the mirror because I know I will become ashamed. On days like these It feels like as if my whole body was sore and weak, don't move or you'll ache.