Someday...

I will wake up feeling different. But, a good kind of different this time. I will throw my body off the bed. Happily. I will make my morning coffee. Happily. I will think about today with ecstasy, not with dread. Because this time, my insanity and passion will be on my side. I will find a person who won't require me explaining myself, our relationship will need no words. I will make the strongest, most intense bonds this world has known. Even if I don't, I will be alright. I will use the bad feelings for my art. My art will be real and unapologetic. I will listen to the Smiths and the Beatles and Syd Barrett and so many more I have yet to meet. I will let every note, every syllable touch me, make me remember, make me forget. I will go outside and walk the park without telling anybody. It will be freeing. I will do whatever I want. I will become a hedonist. A bohemian. I will become whatever I want to be. And need to be. The world isn't ready for what I'm going to do.