so scared I'm numb

I'm so scared I'm numb what if I make the wrong choice what if I get hurt in the end I can't choose myself because I can't love myself I want someone else to do it I'm already hurting am I doing this for me or my family to be happy I want to be happy but I can't be when I don't even no who to choose but if I let everything go I'll hate myself more because I don't want anyone else I'm so scared I'm numb what if I mess up and choose the wrong one why can't I just love myself anymore