So good but hurts so bad

Why does something that feels so good hurt so bad? Why do tears mean happiness and pain. why is someone's loss someone else's gain? why do people get joy out of other people's pain? They say it's better to love and have losses the not to love at all, but I'm not so sure that I agree. His eyes mesmerized you and pulled you in, his smile was so beautiful and he looked like sin. His voice calmed everything inside me that has never been tamed. His touch felt like trying that drug or doing that first line, left my body craving him, wanting him, couldn't think about nothing but seeing him the next time. His narcotic charms paralyzed me and his kiss took my breath, I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. He made me feel special and knew all the right things to say. Everything he did was amazing and together we spent everyday. Days went by and time past now I can't feel or find the love we once had. I feel more alone than I ever did before. I'm so afraid to love or be loved anymore. My heart is in a million pieces I'm dying from the pain, but I put on a smile and try to get through the day. All I want is to love him and him love me back. I want to have the best friend of a life time all marriages have.