Smile

I'm scared I refuse to be afraid why is it so cold I need to lock the door smile what if they leave? the idea of vulnerability is trembling in my palms my father never cried why can't I feel like him I want to scream I miss myself who is this who am I what can I do why is everything so stressful don't touch me my skin is sandpaper why don't I just pretend be okay I'm okay the ceiling is too long why are the walls closing smile laugh stop overstepping I can't focus pay attention things aren't that bad an I lying? I can't remember this is who I am I'm worthless but it's okay I'll wear my hollow heart on my shoulder I'll dress is money that's not me is it? just smile I can't cry don't cry if you cry they'll think your weak they'll hurt you use them don't let them do it to you first smile just. fucking. smile.