slippery desire

The constant and intense rejection that always clings to me, as if he couldn't live without my presence, or as if I couldn't bear it. Constant mood swings are what this provokes in me, jumping from one extreme to the other in a matter of seconds. A need to lose control; a yearning to relinquish it. Rage courses through me when I change my mind, even after begging him. An urgent need to break free, an inability to go on in his absence. Anchored to a slippery desire that only manages to drive me mad.