sleep

I close my eyes what if they never opened again I can't think about that right now cause that's a dream I can't have I open them looking at my wrists I ball up my fists wanting to draw blood maybe then I feel something anything other than sadness I just want to sleep and never wake up i smile at my ceiling it feels fake maybe i'd be better off if I disappeared but I can't maybe I can I don't know anymore I just want to rest