Sipping Feelings

I don't know I don't know what it is to feel feel whole feel correctly feel like everyone else I don't know what it is to open what's in me and let the people I'm supposed to love, feast fill their cups with my sadness toast their bread with my rage I'm tiptoeing the reality of never really knowing never knowing if I'll ever grow into being that little girl again the one with a big smile with an imagination that created a world of color the one that could fill oceans with her happiness.