silent scream

I'm tired of doing nothing. I don't have the energy to do anything. It's hard for me to answer messages, and even harder to pretend to be the same as always. I don't want to be annoying. I refuse to complain all the time. But if I don't get what's inside out, it'll end up killing me. Right now, it's suffocating, and I can barely breathe, but I don't know how to get it out completely to relieve myself. I feel alone, and I doubt I am. I want to go out to clear my head. I hate having to get ready. I scream for help silently through every pore of my body. People think they're desperate cries for attention. I'd rather die than have to scream louder. I'm already dying by screaming softly. Either help will come soon, or it won't be needed anymore.