Silent cry

Crying at dawn Trying not to make a sound A massive amount of adrenaline Trying to swallow the medicine. But what's the use of it? If it doesn't tear out the pain and what's hurting inside my heart. Then I don't want it, In fact I don't want to heal. All I wanted was to be seen and heard But why do people always end up arguing as if I'm not there in front, hearing them word by word. Am I hard to understand? Or am I the problem? All these questions and curiosity in my head is making me point a gun at it and be dead.